


Psyche

by fuckthatlucas



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Anger Management, Angst, Anxiety Disorder, Bulimia, Depression, Eventual Smut, Gay, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Malum is later :), Mental Health Issues, Psychologists & Psychiatrists, Romance, Slow Build, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-09
Updated: 2015-01-16
Packaged: 2018-03-06 21:16:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3148802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckthatlucas/pseuds/fuckthatlucas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke Hemmings was admitted into Westcliff Mental Hospital after a history of depression and multiple suicide attempts. He didn't seem to be improving- no matter how much therapy and help he was receiving. This was until he met Ashton Irwin, a curly haired boy suffering from intermittent explosive disorder. That was when Luke finally felt something other than crippling sadness- he felt hope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Luke glanced up from the battered paperback novel he had been engrossed in for the past hour. It felt like the thousandth time he had flicked through the same ageing pages since he had been admitted to the Westcliff Mental Hospital several months ago. Despite the number of times he had read the same book, it still brought the fair haired boy a sense of comfort and distraction from his unfortunate circumstances. Even if it were only for a few hours, he could escape the walls of the hospital and imagine himself living a life where he could have the possibility of feeling happiness, simply through the power of words.

He had been admitted into the hospital after multiple failed suicide attempts and a history of depression, however since his arrival not one of the resident psychiatrists had been able to break down the walls that Luke hide his thoughts and past behind. It had reached a point that no one ever expected Luke to say more than a few vague responses during his therapy sessions.

He hadn't improved- the hospital prevented him from killing himself but it couldn't prevent the dark thoughts that plagued his mind. It couldn't stop him continuing to scrape away at his already scarred wrists. It couldn't stop him from wishing that he didn't exist.

He felt like he was in a holding cell, he couldn't move forwards and he couldn't move backwards. Luke couldn't be released in his state but staying in the same ominous building every single day for months seemed to just add to his misery. 

Luke looked up again from his book, sighing in irritation as he again heard the commotion from outside the lounge. A series of muffled shouts and curses could be heard throughout the room, the few other residents also paused their activities curious to what cause of the disruption was.

"Get your fucking hands off me!"

The male voice shouted as he tumbled into the room, still shoving and pushing at the security guards that surrounded him despite being in hand cuffs. His blond curls fell across his sweaty forehead as he struggled to keep his footing as he was grabbed from behind by a particularly large guard, he squirmed in his grip as he was pushed through the lounge. The flow of profanity was still streaming from his mouth as he passed where Luke was sitting, his wild hazel eyes meeting the other boys for a short moment before he was shoved again down towards the corridor leading to the male dormitories. 

It wasn't a sight Luke had seen before in his time in the hospital. He hadn't seen someone act quite so aggressively on their first arrival. But more importantly, he hadn't seen someone as absolutely gorgeous as he was. Luke hadn't felt such a rush of feelings towards someone or something in years, for a moment he almost felt like he was alive- like a candle had been lit inside him, spreading warmth and light throughout him.

He snapped out of his thoughts as he felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned to see his nurse, Lana, standing behind him. He jumped slightly in his chair, startled by her sudden arrival.

"Hello Luke, how are you getting on today?" Lana asked cheerfully as she pulled a strand of her chestnut brown hair from her face. She always seemed to be smiling which Luke both appreciated and envied.

"Fine, I guess." He shrugged.

"Well, I've got some good news. We've got you a new room mate- he's just arrived, his name is Ashton." She told him, her smile never faltering as she spoke.

Luke had been expecting a new arrival for a couple of weeks after his previous room mate, Calum, had left the hospital after his recovery from bulimia. In all honesty, he had been apprehensive about staying with someone new as he had only ever been with Calum since his first day at Westcliff. And, if the scene he had just witnessed was any indication- he was right to be nervous about his new roommate. 

"I saw him- are you sure? He looked a little.." Luke trailed off, knowing that he had no choice in the matter given the limited number of spaces they had for new patients. 

"He'll calm down, he's just unsettled." Lana assured, touching his upper arm supportively before turning her attention to another patient who had called out for her. 

Luke got up out of the chair, deciding to go introduce himself to Ashton- he wanted to get their initial meeting over as soon as possible. He couldn't help but feel a pang of nervousness fluttering in the pit of his stomach as he walked down the corridor to his room. He stood outside the door, exhaling softly as he adjusted his shirt before knocking gently on the door and pushing it open slowly. 

He walked in anxiously, spotting Ashton who was currently sitting on his bed with his knees curled up against his chest with his arms wrapped around himself protectively. 

Ashton perked his head up as Luke entered the room, a confused look appearing on his face. Luke noticed he was now sporting a black eye, obviously due to the rough handling of the security. 

"Who the fuck are you?" 

"I stay in this room too." He replied quietly, gesturing towards the other bed in the room. "I'm Luke Hemmings." He added, his fingers playing with the hem of his shirt as he tried to avoid Ashton's intense gaze.

"Oh." He responded. It could of been worse he thought to himself, the boy was ridiculously beautiful. He had smooth pale skin and thick blonde hair that highlighted his remarkably bright blue eyes. He shook his head slightly to himself, snapping out of his thoughts.

"I'm Ashton. But you probably already know that." He added shortly.

Luke noticed Ashton's tone along with his now clenched fists, the skin across his knuckles was noticeably paler. He immediately felt tense and uncomfortable in his presence, Ashton just seemed to be radiating anger and discomfort.

Luke shuffled his feet, unsure of what to do or say next. "I'm just going to.. I'll see you later." He trailed off awkwardly, quickly turning on the spot and heading out the door. 

Before Ashton could even respond, the blonde had already shut the door behind him. 

Ashton ran his fingers through his messy hair, adjusting the bandana on his forehead before resting his forehead against his knees, his thoughts swirling around in his mind after his eventful day. He knew the last place he wanted to be was in a mental hospital, he couldn't quite explain it but somehow after seeing Luke he figured maybe things wouldn't be so bad after all.


	2. Chapter 2

Ashton had been struggling with adjusting to the new environment and structure at Westcliff Mental Hospital. It was completely different to anything he had experienced before and the total change had disrupted his usual routine.

As well as being unable to settle, he hadn't managed to make any acquaintances, let alone friends, in his first week. He had only really spoken to his roommate Luke, which had ended with him snapping so much at the blonde that he left the room and understandably gave him the cold shoulder for the rest of the day. 

Ashton let these unhappy thoughts run over in his head as he headed down into the main lounge after the cleaner had practically forced him out of his room so she could tidy up. He immediately grabbed the empty table in the corner of the room where he would be able to try and relax without being disturbed. 

He glanced around the room for a few moments before spotting Luke across the room speaking to a rather peculiar looking boy with bright red hair and arms covered in various tattoos.

As he continued to watch, he quickly noticed it wasn't quite the friendly discussion Ashton assumed they were having. He pulled an earphone out of his ear as he heard the raised voices across the room.

The red haired boy then pushed Luke on the shoulder, now completely breaching his space. His roommate looked positively terrified at the confrontation and tried to step back out of the boy's space.

Ashton wasn't sure what came over him. He hardly knew anything about Luke other than the face he was gorgeous and he definitely didn't know Michael. But, for some reason he felt compelled to get up.

He walked determinedly towards the pair, meeting Luke's eyes momentarily before turning to the boy with the tattoos. He immediately pushed the red haired boy back, he looked rather surprised by Ashton's physical interference but then resumed to the same cocky smirk as he had before.

"Back off you dick, he clearly doesn't want you in his face." Ashton snapped, now unable to stop himself. 

"And who are you?" The red haired boy questioned. "Oh I see, is this your new bunk buddy, Luke?" He added with a sarcastic snigger.

"Actually yes, we're roommates. But that's none of your business." Ashton retorted quickly on Luke's behalf, feeling anger flaring inside him at the red haired boy's obnoxious attitude, he would of loved to of knocked that pathetic smirk off his face.

"I take it you're a faggot too then if you're rooming with him? The last one was too." He smirked.

A switch suddenly flicked inside Ashton, as he felt his hand tremble slightly with his building anger. He made a snap decision as he suddenly retracted his left arm, swinging it back to hit him square in the jaw. 

The red head staggered back, clutching his face momentarily and grunting in pain. He looked shocked, he hadn't expected Ashton to do anything except maybe run off. He quickly composed himself before aiming a punch back at the curly haired boy with incredible force.

Everything else seemed a blur to Ashton in the midst of his rage as he pushed Michael to the floor, repeatedly punching him. Moments later, he felt someone grab him from behind, dragging him off Michael and out of the lounge. 

He was almost shaking with rage as he was man handled to the nurses ward. He was immediately injected with some sort of drug before he passed out on the metal bed within the ward.

Luke approached the nurses room a few hours after the fight had occurred. He was unable to figure out why he was so concerned about Ashton's welfare, his new roommate had been nothing but rude to him since he arrived but after how Ashton defended him in front of Michael he felt like he had to make sure he was alright. 

Luke also couldn't help but feel strangely drawn to the boy ever since he first saw him arrive at the hospital which he couldn't understand. 

He saw Ashton sitting on the edge of the white metal framed bed in the ward, holding an ice pack to his jaw. He had a few bruises scattered across his tanned skin and his forehead looked damp with sweat. Luke also noticed a few tissues in his lap which were all covered in patches of blood. 

"Are you okay?" Luke asked softly, sounding concerned as he slowly sat down on the chair next to the bed. 

"What do you think?" Ashton snapped before pausing, letting out a deep breath. "Sorry.. I don't mean to.." He apologised genuinely, trailing off as he met the blonde's eyes.

"I know what it's like to be in a new place with people you've never met before, I know that's why you're worse." Luke responded, when he arrived he was fortunate enough to be befriended by Calum. He didn't like the thought of Ashton having no one, as he could only imagine what a struggle he would of had being alone.

"Thank you for today by the way, you didn't have to do anything but you did. I really doubt he'll be messing with me now." Luke added with a small smile.

Ashton smiled back at the taller boy before groaning, wincing at the sharp pain shooting through his jaw due to the sudden movement of his bruised muscles.

Luke had never seen him smile and he knew straight away he would do anything to see it again. He had dimples on his cheeks and he had creases at the corners of his eyes, all of this just added to the attraction be felt towards him.

"Here let me." He frowned as he moved forward cautiously, reaching out to take the ice pack in his hand and pressing it gently to the shorter boy's jaw. "Is this okay?" Luke asked, unsure if he was overstepping.

"It's fine, you don't have to look so worried. I don't bite." He chuckled, he bit his lip as they held eye contact for a few moments. He couldn't get over just how beautiful he was.

"So what's your story then Luke? I don't know the first thing about you." He asked, feeling himself softening as he spoke.

"I'm not very interesting. I have three brothers and a dog, I'm good at math and have an unhealthy obsession with Greenday and Blink-182." Luke replied with a small smile.

"Greenday and Blink? You're definitely interesting. I love them." 

"Seriously?-" Luke began to ask before there was a sudden knock at the door, both boys glanced up and Luke immediately retracted his hand away from Ashton as the nurse entered the room.

"Hey Luke, it's time for your stuff and your session." She smiled. "Thought I'd find you here." She added.

Luke nodded, shooting Ashton a gentle smile. "I'll see you later." He mouthed as he followed the nurse out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slow and crap update I've been busy revising for prelim exams unfortunately.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, really appreciate you doing so! Also, big thanks to my friends Rory and Caitlin for their assistance and proof reading of this chapter.


End file.
